Developing Your Inner Calm

Being calm is an art and one that can be learnt by almost anyone. 

On most days, we juggle some challenge or the other of different magnitudes – be it with people or life circumstances.  Getting overwhelmed, panicked, irritated, mad or fearful, is just one of our common reactions to challenging or stressful situations. 

When we react, we come from a place of being defensive as we are not comfortable with what is occurring around or within us.  This leads to a state of imbalance as we allow our emotions to take control and drive us in a manner that is not always logical or healthy.

Responding on the other hand, comes from a much more centered place, from reasoning and thoughtfulness. In responding, we learn to engage with a person or situation in a more productive manner.  And from this we learn and grow, becoming more expansive and beautiful.

The truth is that we all have the ability to tap into our inner calm, if we are willing to put in the effort to respond in ways that are uplifting, versus reacting in ways that are unpleasant.

Mindfulness is the art of being more centered within, and of being more aware and respectful of others and our environment.  This act alone prevents us from reacting and getting carried away, and helps us focus on responding and creating more positive outcomes.

Here is what you can do:

1. Equal Breathing: breathing is key to helping calm and stabilize the mind.  By focusing on our breath, we bring our thoughts under control and release thoughts that lead to our emotions getting charged. Our breath enables us to focus and center.

Lengthen your breath slowly from the navel to the crown and back down again, keeping the length of the inhalations and exhalations equal.  Do this for a few minutes and until you feel more in control.

2. Create a purposeful pause

As we tap into our inner calm, we increase our ability to listen to what is being said more intently, to observe the situation more objectively.

Every single situation seems a lot worse at first than what it actually is.  The key is to set a rule to step back and take a purposeful pause, be it for a few seconds, minutes, days, months or even more.   It all depends on the situation.

When we allow for volatile energies and a clouded mind to settle, we enable the right information to come to the forefront and for clarity to reign.  And this is exactly what enables us to respond more thoughtfully and to move in a direction of collaboration and productivity, be it through more meaningful conversation or better decision-making.